Per Wacky Mommy:

• Boutros Boutros-Ghali (Bruce Boudreau)
• Ruffy (Lindy Ruff)
• La Violent (Peter Laviolette)
• Tortellini (John Tortorella)
• Alfred (Ken Hitchcock)
• Kevin Spacey (Terry Murray)

Looking at the server logs, I see you have some questions… and I got answers!

Is Portland passive aggressive?

Why yes, it is.

What do you love about Portland?

Many things.

Do you have any cartoons about gay marriage?

I linked to a bunch of cartoons back in 2007, when Oregon passed its domestic partner law. (This has been a long-standing prime driver of traffic to this site, believe it or not.)

Are there hockey stores in Portland?

Northwest Skate Authority has a pro shop at Sherwood Ice Arena and one at the Winterhawks Skating Center. Decent selection (for a small shop), good prices and great service.

Are there hockey bars in Portland?

Claudia’s Sports Pub is rumored to be a decent place to catch a game. I’ve never been there, though.

Is Portland mayoral candidate Eileen Brady anti-union?

I don’t know, but her hubby sure was back in the 90s. And so far, Portland’s credulous scrivener corps hasn’t bothered to ask her about it much.

Are employees at Brady’s New Seasons stores union?

Nope.

Did Paul Newman do his own skating in Slapshot?

Yes he did, at least according to the commentary by the Hansen brothers on the DVD.

Where are good seats at Portland’s Memorial Coliseum?

I’ve always liked section 69, row H for hockey. It’s second tier, center ice. I’ve also enjoyed sitting in the Hosers’ section in the end above the goal where the Hawks shoot twice. But the place has great sight lines all around.

Is Oregonian reporter Bryan Denson a stupid fucking credulous hack?

Dan Savage sure thinks so, and I couldn’t resist putting a link to his criticism on the front page of the Oregonian Web site. (I don’t see any queries in the logs like “Is the Oregonian a useless dinosaur of an establishment rag that can’t figure out how to operate in the new media world?” but the answer is, of course, an emphatic “Yes!!”)

And finally, the number one search that brings people to this site lately:

Do you have a Portland ZIP code map?

Well, sort of. I’ve got one I scanned out of a phone book several years back, then color coded to show the shameful maldistribution of educational investment in Portland. You’ll have better luck finding a ZIP at the US Postal Service site. Funny that this post still brings visitors, as it was the post that launched my brief but intense career as a pundit, citizen journalist, and community activist in Portland Public Schools.

Ribbit.

Junior is playing floor hockey in gym. He asked me, is it okay to use your feet? I said, well, in ice hockey it’s okay, but I’m not sure about floor hockey. He said One of the kids on my team said it’s not allowed. I said, What’s the teacher say? He said, I don’t know, but I’m going to tell that kid my dad plays hockey almost every day, and he said you can use your feet.

Also, in the spirit of the classic Slap Shot line “You take that sentence back,” the new laugh line at our house is “Shut up or I’ll knock the rest of your teeth out” (courtesy one of my beer league team mates).

John Candy as Divine. On ice.

My new beer league team put me on forward… on right wing to be precise.

So far it’s working out pretty good. I’ve got two goals in two games, which is 25% of all the goals we’ve scored. We lost both games, but I think I can get used to playing up front. (Playing defense, I got zero goals in about 25 games.)

Don’t worry, though, I still shoot left.

Still no word on public opening, which is driving me nuts….

But I hope to be hitting this ice on my lunch break soon!

I actually kinda feel the same way about my CCM U+ skates… they fit like a friggin’ glove.

My old farts beer league team finished 5-5, 4th place out of eight, then lost to the fifth place team in the first round of the playoffs. I thought cuz I skipped it, my team would have a better chance… but no dice.

From LuLu, our little “parlor panther.”