Things I learned from the Billboard Music Awards

by Steve, May 23rd, 2011

  • Beyonce is friggin’ amazing. A show biz juggernaut at 29.
  • If you ain’t got much going on musically (Pitbull), hire some Vegas show girls to wiggle and strut.
  • If you got musical bona fides (Cee Lo Green), they gonna put you on a flying piano and flip you upside down while you sing a full version of an Al Green song and a truncated version of the censored version of your own smash hit. Ain’t that some shh…?
  • Brittney Spears is making a play to stay relevant, but I didn’t stay up long enough to see it. (From what I heard on the radio, she’s working hard to sound like Ke$ha.) DJ, turn it up…
  • thanked the thousands of software engineers and technicians who make it possible for him to perform and be a mega star. Cuz god knows the man can’t sing without auto-tune.
  • Fergie who?
  • Did I mention Beyonce is friggin’ AMAZING?

Also, did I mention my entire summer is being planned around pop culture events? Or that my tween daughter isn’t entirely comfortable with me becoming familiar with current pop music? Or that I can’t get Katy Perry’s weird Extraterrestrial out of my head? Take me, tay-tay-take me….

Enough… I gotta go listen to some vintage Nuyorican to cleanse my palate.