Pssst — hey you guys, it’s me. Wacky Mommy. Hockey God gave me his password so I could clean up the spam in here. The spammers, they want to party with him! They like his site as it is Great! Also they show an abnormal curiosity about his, uh, butt. And who can blame them?

He wasn’t thinking that maybe I’d post while I was tidying up. Heh heh heh heh (maniacal cackling). The power! It’s in my hands! I could really hotrod it through his blog if I wanted. Vroooooom, vrooooooooooooom… I mean — I could put up girly-girl quotes (wait, here’s one: “People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within” — Elizabeth Kubler Ross). Or there are always cute potty training stories, or I could share a crumb cake recipe or two.

Here’s another quote:

“As I get older, I just prefer to knit.”

— Tracey Ullman

Oh, wait!

From “Postcards from the Edge” (1990)

Julie Marsden: “You’ve got to learn to deal with your feelings, Suzanne, before they deal with you.”

Suzanne Vale: “Do you always talk in bumper stickers?”

Julie Marsden: “You know, addiction isn’t the problem – it’s the solution.”

Whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip! Yeah that’s the sound of him being whipped by me. I would not do that to the big fella.

I bid you adieu. Hope you are doing well, wherever you are.

Love,

Wacky Mommy

PS — And a joke: “Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?”

Answer: “Because he was dead.”

Ha! Ha!

And here’s a link to Dad Gone Mad, best-known for pissing off Rockstar Mommy by nicknaming her “Crotchstar Mommy.” So. Not. Okay. And second-best known for such quotes as: “But if one of those little shits (is) whining about needing (to) leave the field to take a leak in the middle of our moment of glory, I�m kicking him off the team. For some things, you hold it � even if that means pinching your wiener and doing the pee-pee dance in front of 40,000 people.”

I was going to blog about having a sinus infection and post a recipe for onion soup for the sick, but I’ll let Wacky Mommy cover that. I found this story today that just defies belief.

From WLEX TV in Lexington, Kentucky (emphasis added):

A Letcher County woman suffered a horrible injury early Thursday when her arm was severed in a car crash on the Mountain Parkway in Clark County.

Jacqueline Dotson and her six-year-old daughter had to be cut out of their vehicle after the accident in which Dotson veered into the median and over-corrected, rolling her truck over the guardrail and landing upside down after flipping several times.

Several people stopped to help, and it turns out, the good samaritans may very well have saved Dotson’s life. Sheila Vice, a nurse’s aide, and an off-duty EMT from another county stopped to help, and put a tourniquet on Dotson’s arm to stop the bleeding. Her arm was found near the accident still clutching a cell phone.

“Basically we stayed there and talked to them until the EMT drivers got there,” said Vice.

Rescuers used the jaws of life to get the Dotson and her daughter out of the truck. Both were flown to hospitals, and Dotson is listed in serious condition at UK Hospital. Her daughter is not in the hospital, and sheriff’s officials say they believe she’s going to be fine.

Both were wearing seat belts.

In the week since an F2 tornado struck Iowa City (my home town), I’ve found numerous blogs and photo galleries beyond those I previously posted. Today I found iowacitytornados.com. It’s still pretty sparse, but it could turn out to be a good central clearing house. They have a much better map of the torndado’s path than the Des Moines Register, and also link to the National Weather Service reports of the 12(!) tornados confirmed in eastern Iowa on April 13.

As a child growing up in Iowa, I was mortified of tornados. I remember once my folks were out shopping and left me with my older siblings (who loved to torment poor, poor me). They decided it would be fun to tell me there was a tornado warning, so we all went down to the cellar and crouched in the corner. Then they got bored.

Iowa City, my home town, is somewhat on the fringes of tornado alley, but still tornado watches and warnings are things you grow up dealing with. There is nothing quite like the eerie calm that preceeds a prairie storm, with crepuscular light turning green and forboding. Then the rains and winds begin, with angry intensity. Funnel clouds can poke down along the front, but usually recede back into the blackness. The storm marches on, heading for the Mississippi, maybe dumping some golf ball sized hail on the way.

Last night was such a night in Iowa City, but one of the funnel clouds persisted and grew, and turned into and F-2 tornado. It cut an 8 mile path through the heart of town a third of a mile across. (An F2 tornado has estimated winds speeds of 113-157 mph and causes considerable damage).

The Daily Iowan has four photo galleries online: night-of-storm, morning after, and reader submitted. They also have some aerial photos.

The Iowa City Press-Citizen also has morning after and reader submitted photos.

The Des Moines Register duplicates some of these in its two galleries: damage and cleaning up and reader submitted. The register also published an approximate map of the twister’s path.

Update, 4/15/2006: All three papers listed above seem to be updating frequently. If you’re looking for Iowa City tornado photos, I recommend checking the home pages of the Daily Iowan, the Press-Citizen and the Des Moines Register. The Cedar Rapids Gazette has several galleries too. (Please post links if you find others!)

WackyMommy requests that I print my “Rules for ex-girlfriends” that I once sent to a good friend who was dating somebody, er, close to Wacky Mommy. It was written in an ironic tone, but Wacky Mommy and the person, er, close to her who was dating my friend both thought the rules were perfectly reasonable.

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What the fuck is a meme tag? Well, I’m not that into this blog thing, at least not enough to know. My lovely wife, Wacky Mommy, got “tagged” by Amalah, which means she’s supposed to list 6 weird things about herself, which she did. Then she went and tagged me. So, herewith, my weirdness in all its glory:

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